The little things

So one of the worst things about depressions is the metaphorical layer of fog that falls over everything stopping you from seeing all the brightness, colour and definition of the world around you. Music is just a noise that you have no emotional connection to, all food taste more or less the same , things you used to enjoying doing just become chores and work becomes a seemingly never ending battle to get the most simple things done. Everything is varying shades of grey and it's all your fault.

But, when the tide turns and you feel and see the colour start to bleed back into your world you find yourself discovering things you didn't even realise you missed. One of the most cliched is the dawn chorus. Before birds would make that horrible noise just to wake you up and piss you off because you ate chicken for the first 18 years of your life and now they're getting revenge on you for eating their cousins. But now it's a noise that you actually look forward to waking up to hear and in conjunction with your morning cup of tea sets you up for another day.

Clouds become more than just things in the sky for people to moan about they become hypnotic tapestries of faces, they're natures rorschach ink blot tests. Rain clouds are dark menacing mountains that loom over you and cause you to stop in the street an gaze up open mouthed in awe, much to the bemusement of everyone around you.

The colour green becomes like a visual form of heroin. You must see trees, grass, any kind of plant life at least 76 times a day or you feel the need to sit in a corner and rock gently back nd forth. You find yourself making excuses to go up to the top floor of your works building just so you can spend a couple of minutes looking out at the patch work of tree tops and grass covered hills that flow around the houses and roads.

Seeing other mammals going about their daily business. Squirells scurryin up and down trees like the furry little ninja's they are. Cats and dogs stretched out in the sun or chasing things that aren't there and having a great time doing it. Walking home at 1am and seeing a fox that promptly stops an stares right into your eyes and into your soul before continuing, allowing you to just observe it go about their nightly duties.

And music. Oh music, that mistress who can make you jump around like a loon, cry like a baby, headbang until your head just about falls off and can make your entire body orgasm with ecstacy. I'm not religious or spiritual in any way but the power of music is undeniable and it touches something inside me that I cannot rationally explain and I don't really want to know why it does what it does. All I know is that I need music to live as much need to inake oxygen and consume food and water.

There are hundreds of other things I could write about but I don't want to bore myself or anyone else any more than I have done so already. If you read I urge you to find just one thing everyday that makes you grateful to have been born and to be lucky enough to be part of this truly awesome freak of nature that is our planet.